After the New Year and the New Year, people rolled their eyes as soon as the topic came out. Cai Yuerong, a psychological therapist at Xinxu Psychological Treatment Institute, pointed out the key points and shared with you "chat art" and o...
After the New Year and the New Year, people rolled their eyes as soon as the topic came out. Cai Yuerong, a psychological therapist at Xinxu Psychological Treatment Institute, pointed out the key points and shared with you "chat art" and other methods that are conducive to cultivating the atmosphere, so that everyone can be sweet and happy for the New Year, regardless of when and where they are very useful!
Online survey of the 10th anniversary of the New Year’s Eyes! How many times have you rolled your eyes?
According to online surveys, the most common topics that make people roll their eyes during the Chinese New Year are nothing more than related to courses, work, feelings, marriage, appearance, etc. Including:
1. Have you had a boyfriend/girlfriend? 2. Why didn’t I come back to show us? 3. Why haven’t you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend? 4. When should we get married? Why not yet? 5. When do you have to have a baby? 6. When should I give birth to the N-year fetus? 7. When should I buy a house? 8. Where are you taking classes/work now? 9. What's the way you end your salary/year? 10. Have you become fat?
Will I roll my eyes when chatting during the New Year? Psychologist’s key: closed dialogue.
Psychologist Cai Yuerong said that the reason why these problems often make people roll their eyes or not talk about the content is more of a way of chatting, making people feel like they are being explored or planned, or they are trying to play a guide chess, or they may suddenly face things that they are still preparing for or encounter setbacks. The most direct reaction in their hearts is "what does it matter to you?", and the biggest key is "closed dialogue".
The most common misunderstanding: closed-style dialogues Cai Yuerong psychologist said that the most common mode of closed-style dialogues is that you ask me and answer, and even if the setting up a venue and the answering method is within the expectations, sometimes it makes people not know how to answer, or makes people feel "What are you talking about?"
Communication cannot be established. Chats are like being asked about a question and have no other meaning, and they will make the person being asked feel-hardened like a high-quality inquiry station. Communication cannot be established, and chatting is like being asked about it. If there is still a chance to communicate together, but if it is late and long, there will be fewer opportunities to respond to the problem and form communication, because it seems abrupt or not, such as late and long-term questioning, "When will you have a baby?" Therefore, in the context of long-term discussions with lateness, the discomfort will become more obvious.
I know chatting during the Chinese New Year, so I can roll my eyes! The key to psychologist: open dialogue.
Open dialogue: talk about you and me. Psychologist Cai Yuerong said that the best entry point for chatting is not to ignoring the problem, but to open a question that everyone has to participate in. "Open dialogue" is the best. You can first til the brick to express yourself, but not show off, so that everyone can express their opinions. Ask the questioner and others can answer. No one seems to be inquired, it is not easy to make people unsuitable, and it is easier to continue the topic.
Let’s talk about the following: What happens now is often higher in the common geese. You can “What do you want to eat today? Do you want to prepare for something?”, “Do you want to order a drink together?”, “What do you want to go through at night?”, “What do you want to do when you are late?” Let’s open the venue to relax the atmosphere.
Let’s talk about recent: Then you can first talk about "Are you doing recently?" and "What are you doing recently?" The simplest and best talk about include "What movies/studying have you watched recently?" to understand the other party’s recent interests or life topics.
These are very easy to chat: psychologists say that such as movies, programs, films, politics, social views, etc., are common topics that can be talked about for a long time in a chat. The exchanges in common areas are also good, such as education experience, decoration experience, car modification experience, investment experience, etc., but avoid comparison.
How to talk about political topics? Political topics are a little special. Usually, most of the families have the same neutral position. They can be consistent in the muzzle and improve cohesion. Different positions require a prerequisite: "Everyone expresses their views" rather than "truth", which means that they must be able to accept different views of each other, so that they can form a discussion together.
These can be lively atmosphere: if there are table games, cards, snatches, video games, etc., it is also a very good way to distract the pressure and chat easily. The process can avoid too much in-depth focus on the topic. After all, the group is also a sense of life, but it is also very tiring for people in different life circles to keep talking and thinking about topics.
10 big eye roll questions can also be chatted like this: Of course, the 10 big eye roll questions mentioned above are not impossible to talk about, but the key is to be "open" in the best way, such as "How are you feeling recently?", which allows people to answer in a way that is answered, rather than "Have you had a boyfriend/girlfriend?" It seems that they can only answer yes or not, and the two answers make people not know how to answer the questions.
If you feel that you are chatting wrong questions: If you think you are accidentally chatting wrong questions, the best way to deal with them is to actively, relaxedly and honestly ask yourself to talk wrong, for example, "Ah, I seem to be embarrassed, hahaha, sorry, sorry." Because someone will always need to break the ice, but it cannot be vaguely taken. This method can avoid the fact that when you really have a wrong chat, it will not mean that the error will become deeper; it can also prevent the fact that there is nothing in fact, and apology that is too cautious will be even more embarrassing. Don't "I'm just kidding, but I'm so angry." This may make people feel offended and said to be stingy, and keep on fire.
Understand the art of chatting, and it is more conducive to the warm atmosphere, communication with each other during the New Year, and even reduce the other party's pressure, embarrassment and other unsuitable feelings, just like "a sweet mouth, a happy New Year!" I wish you all a happy new year!
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